Sunday 24 March 2013

Pleasure Over Guilt

I was thinking about happily writing a new post where I would announce that my eyelashes were growing back... but I thought about it too much, and I plucked most of them out again.

Why are human beings so voracious? So destructive?

That flicker of pain - that glee I feel from plucking them out and eating them... and then the hours, years, long-term depression that I feel...

Is it worth it? No... but I am far too lustful, too emotional to care at times. I am overwhelmed by the obsession of wanting to, needing to pluck. My heart beats for that 'twang' of pain I feel once the hair has been plucked out. I will do anything - at any cost to pluck it; my sights have been set, I must have it. Even if it means reddening and pinching my eyelids until they bleed.

Why do I do this? I suppose I could say the same and ask you, "why do you bite your nails? Why do you nibble your mouth? Why do you have strange habits?"
Although, plucking out one's eyelashes is probably a lot more destructive than biting one's nail.. I suppose this is the prime reason why my right eye sags a lot more than the left.

And I suppose that I am sharing this in public (although not to that many viewers, which is somewhat less intimidating) because I want you to know so that I may feel shame. I want you to know what stage my eyelashes are at so that one day in the future I will be able to show you that I can finally apply mascara.


So I share this picture, and say to myself and to my future-self: is it worth it? Look at these tired eyes; they're sick of your shit. Are you still hurting, and plucking, and hating yourself? Do you wear mascara?

Because I'm hurting right now. And I hate you so much.

Your few seconds of pleasure hurts me forever.



To read more about this condition, please read through this extremely informative website:
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/trichotillomania/Pages/introduction.aspx

Tuesday 19 March 2013

It won't Change Again, I Promise!

Sooooooo you may have seen this blog change its name like 5 billion times over the course of a week.

I am happy to say that I am OK (ie, I can't be arsed changing it anymore) with my blog name/url. So please feel free to share it, as I promise you the url won't be changed again!

Monday 18 March 2013

Bronzed Beach Asian Goddess Thing for Toto

Dearest Toto from MUA requested I do this look. It was too dang pretty to pass-up and I wanted to play with eyeshadow again!


I apologise, I post so many photos because I can never get the one good picture :/ Here is a mix of dry-hair and wet-hair photos. And yes, I only heavily applied one eye because I thought it'd be concealed like in the model picture..

No Makeup Brush + No Mirror FOTD

I'm pretty bad at makeup, but I'm learning! I've re-discovered how fun FOTD's can be!

I will be posting some of the FOTD's I've posted on MUA here, as I know there are some viewers who are normally too busy to see before I poof the pictures, so they can view in their own time when they're less busy with work and personal stuff here. :)

Today is double-whammy FOTD! I did the "no brush and no mirror" challenge, as well as a model-copy lovely Toto from MUA recommended (which will be posted later)


So this picture of me doing the Thousand-Yard-Stare made me laugh... click the jump to view